a work in progress

Happiness. Staring you in the face. Yours for the taking.
I was at an art show and a friend I hadn’t seen in a while came by and told me I looked unhappy. I said I was doing okay. He said I wasn’t smiling all the time and I told him I hadn’t been as happy but that I felt okay and that life was moving alone just fine for me. It didn’t seem to be good enough for him. I was annoyed that he could not accept my being less than chipper as okay for me. Sometimes I feel like there is a happiness mafia in this tiny town that throws a parade nearly every weekend of the summer. Then I turn on the tv and remember it is not just this town, it is our country. Take a pill and those annoying periods of unhappiness will go away. Take a pill and you’ll be able to focus. Take a pill and you’ll be able to make friends. Take a pill and you’ll have amazing long lasting erections. Jeez! Okay, I confess, I want the pill that makes you feel like you’re in a large tub on the top of a mountain at sunset, not sure what it cures, but I saw the commercial and I must have that condition, doc. Anyway, that’s a different rant of mine.

When I moved to this town from Texas, I did not like the winter and saw the fall as the decline into darkness. I listened to others talk about being able to see the lay of the land and enjoying the falling of the leaves. I did not get it. I was so happy back then, centered, smiling, eager, helpful, open, all that good stuff. I felt lucky everyday just to be me and therefore had boundless energy to share with others. I volunteered and met new people every day and had a grand old time. My problems were there but I felt they were the perfect problems for me to have and knew I would handle them gracefully. People really liked me then.

Things have changed and I have gotten a bit darker, less social. I’m feeling like I do alright. I’m after contentment at this point in my life and remembering that excitement does not equal happiness. Happiness is quieter.  It’s just winter. The leaves have fallen and I can see the skeltons more clearly now. It’s a more introspective period and a necessary part of my happiness. Summer is coming. I’m going to swim naked in the lake. I will dance in the streets, play with the kids, smile everyday and make my dreams come true. Right now, I’m just looking at it coming and figuring out how to joyfully live the next chapter with all that I learned this winter.

My favorite book about happiness is by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi and if a dozen people buy it through this link to Amazon.com, I’ll get a gift certicate from them so I can buy the book. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience (Paperback)

If you want to go to a week long group therapy type thing led by people who choose to be happy, visit option.org and schedule a session at the Option Institute. It’s a gorgeous place and a fun environment and they help a lot of people overcome debilitating beliefs. I went to a week long session about 7 years ago thanks to a scholarship from them, a good friend, and my little plastic card that deducts from my future. It was cool, I came home invigorated. The founders originally developed Son-Rise, a program based on acceptance, for working with their son when he developed autism. It is an incredible program and I heartily recommend this program to families of children with disabilities of all types. Here’s my Amazon link for Books by Barry Neil Kaufman.

This painting is big- 30″ x 40″ on a gallery wrap canvas. The painting continues around the edges and it is ready to hang. I placed my initials on one edge and it is signed, titled and dated on the back. I have had a great response to this painting and I had such an interesting time painting it that I plan to continue painting big eyed girls in their worlds.